Game of Thrones - Season 5 Opener...Wasn't My Favorite /shrug

After finally being able to watch the season 5 premiere of Game of Thrones, I'm still not exactly sure if I'm very excited about this upcoming season...

***SPOILERS...if you haven't seen the episode yet, you may wanna skip this post***

Okay, so the blonde hair should have
made it obvious...

The episode starts off with two girls walking through a really creepy forest...there isn't an introduction of the girls, so I spent the first several minutes trying to figure out who they where and what terrible thing was about to happen to them [the last episode I remember starting with an unnamed girl in the woods was 'The Lion and the Rose' from season 4...it didn't end well for the poor girl. Not at all].

Soon the girls are barging into a ramshackle hut and the blonde one starts demanding that the 'witch' that lives there tell her of her future...the witch tells the girl that she will marry the king and become queen, for a time...then there will be a younger, more beautiful girl that will overthrow her and take her place. She also says that the girl and the king will have children...that the king will have 20 and she will have 3. [Right about now is when I realized that I knew the girl's name] Ominously, the witch says that the girl's three children will have crowns of gold...which will then become their shrouds. Have you guessed who the girl is supposed to be yet? Yep! We are looking at a young Cersei and learning that she had some fore-warning of the tragedy that would play out in her life [seaons 1 -4]. Not really sure what this scene is supposed to do for the audience...other than offer additional insight on why Cersei hates Margery as much as she does.

Lancel Lannister reappears in this episode, and he seems to have been given quite a makeover...remember him?

Lancel had a sort of minor, recurring role in seasons 1 and 2 before he more or less disappears after Cersei punches him in the arrow wound he received during the Battle of the Blackwater.

During the fist couple seasons, Lancel joined the ranks of Cersei's puppets. You know...the ones she got to do her bidding because she was sleeping with them. [Cersei: keeping it in the family. Always.]

Cersei runs into the made-over rendition of Lancel during some sort of gathering for honoring/mourning the late Tywin Lannister [died at the hand of Tyrion...while taking a poop. Hilarious!]. In the dialogue between Cersei and Lancel, we're reminded of their 'taboo relations' and some of the deeds Lancel did at her bidding...namely, his involvement in boar hunting accident that killed King Robert. We also learn that Lancel has joined some sort of religious group that call themselves 'The Sparrows.'

My guess is that The Sparrows end up having some sort of role in the latest chapter of King's Landing drama...maybe.

Umm...what else happened?

Oh! I remember that they briefly show Brienne and Podrick...Brienne is pretty aggravated that she's pledged to protect any remaining Starks [Arya and Sansa, as far as Brienne knows], but Arya flat-out denied her offered assistance/protection. While venting some of her frustrations, Brienne tries [again] to dismiss Podrick, reminding him that he can't be actually be a squire if he continues to assist her...after all, Brienne is not actually a knight. Because he's the good guy that he is, Podrick waves these comments off [again] and insists that he will continue to aid Brienne. In a cruel bit of dramatic irony, we see a carriage pass by Brienne and Podrick...and Sansa is in the carriage!!!! /facepalm!

Speaking of Sansa...

We see Sansa and Littlefinger dropping Robin off at some sort of training facility. Robin is being taught to sword fight and he suuuuuuuuucks! Robin's safety is assured [though his capacity to learn manly things is not] and Sansa and Littlefinger head out in a carriage. I know that Littlefinger tells Sansa that he lied about their destination, but I can't actually remember where they're headed...yeah...this bit wasn't exactly my favorite.

We also get kind of caught up on Daenerys...she's still hanging out in her pyramid and everything around the pyramid is still chaos. An unsullied gets murdered while he's snuggling with a prostitute and that prompts Daenerys to flex her 'I'm the badass mother of dragons!' muscles...a little. After a little prodding from a very nude Daario Naharis, Dany goes to visit her two dragons that she had locked away at the end of the last season. I'm not sure exactly how long these two have been locked away, but they certainly did not seem happy to see their mother! Sooooo, unless there are some drastic changes, I don't know how much longer Dany can call herself the 'mother of dragons.'

Quite honestly, I've been trying to write this stupid post for three days now, and I've gotten tired of it...[gotta love chaos...which my life seems to have in endless supplies!] so, I'm going to wrap this episode up rather quickly...

We see Jon Snow, still at Castle Black, and Stannis is telling Jon that he wants Mance Rayder to pledge his loyalty to him and enlist all of the wildlings to fight in Sannis's army. Jon relays the message to Mance, Mance predictably says 'hell no.' Stannis then sentences Mance to die by fire...just...ugh, I really hate Stannis. During the execution, Jon Snow does one of the most honorable things seen in the show to date [just a rough estimate...I may look into the accuracy of this statement later], and he shoots an arrow in Mance's chest. A much swifter, more humane [by comparison] death than being burned alive. So....yeah. Yay, Jon Snow!

I know that I'm skipping over the bits about Tyrion and Varys [and probably more], my apologies...to me, it really seemed like a whole lot of scaffolding for future episodes and story arcs. Not terribly interesting right now. In fact, that's really my overall impression of the entire episode... it just wasn't terribly interesting.

Here's to hoping that the season gets better!