What's Your Favorite Collective Noun?

Yet another socially awkward misadventure...brought to you by yours truly...

Yesterday afternoon, the kiddo and I went to go pick up a few groceries and things for the upcoming week. After putting everything that we bought into the trunk of the car, I walked my shopping cart towards the cart corral. As I got closer to the corral, I noticed that some ladies were getting out of the car that was parked nearby...one of the ladies saw that I was going to drop off my shopping cart and then asked if she could have it. Of course, I didn't mind giving her the shopping cart, so I politely said, "Sure!" and started pushing the cart in her direction.

Good Idea!

When I was about halfway there, the lady turned around [back towards her car] and commented to her friend about the loud crows that we hanging out in a nearby tree...now, thanks to my habitual politeness, I thought to myself, "Hey! She's right, the crows are awfully loud, aren't they? When I give her the car, I should comment on her crow comment...if I comment, it will validate her observation and act as a compliment of sorts...yes? It would be a good thing. Definitely a good thing. Okay, that settles it. When I give her the cart, I must comment on her comment."

/chuckle

Well...what actually happened was a little bit different that what I'd thought would happen...

So, I'm walking my cart to the lady and as soon as I get within earshot, I start with my carefully thought out comment.

Ready for this?

I smile at the lady and I say, "You know, you're right! It's quite the noisy murder over there!"

Yep. Those are the words that came out of my brilliant mouth. /Siiiiiigh

I attempt to speak to a stranger, and I use the word 'murder.'

You'd be surprised at how quickly someone can turn around and run from a situation if they feel as if they're in danger...that lady sure could move, though!

Now...here's where I get the chance to explain myself...

"Murder" is the proper collective noun to use when you're referring to a group of crows.

Why I chose that particular sentence to exploit the expanse of random, useless knowledge in my head? I have no idea...just part of the cringe-worthy awkwardness that is my everyday life.

So, there it is...I'm going to look into starting my hermit lifestyle now...

[*This event actually happened last weekend. I started writing this post on Monday, and I've just now finished it...yeah, my blogging commitment is starting to seriously decline...]

Social Awkwardness Strikes Again...

Know what's the worst? [Okay, maybe not the worst worst...but definitely sucks...]

What?  Oh. Yeah! I Totally knew
you didn't mean to call. Totally.

Looking down at your phone to see that you've got a missed call from a friend...getting a tiny bit excited because, well, phone calls from friends are far and few between...calling said friend back...and then realizing that they've butt-dialed you and they have no idea why you're calling them.

Yep. That's me...bringing you awkward moments since the mid-80's....you're welcome.

Social Klutzing...

So, last night, the kiddo and I went to that fundraising event that his school was hosting.

I thought they had lovely cups!

Overall, I thought that the place had decently good food. Everything was a touch overpriced, though. I'll say that they're chocolate cake certainly was delicious, but I can't think of any sort of cake that should warrant a $4.50/slice price.

As predicted, we ran into one of the kiddo's classmates and his parents. Also as predicted, I was nothing short of spectacularly awkward. /facepalm

I decided to be bold for a change and attempt to be outgoing when I introduced myself to the classmate's parents...the kiddo and I had just finished eating, so I decided to tell them something along the lines of, " Oh boy, you guys are in for a treat! We just ate, and let me tell you, the food was fantastic! Like, really, really good food! But, I don't know, have you guys ever eaten here before?"

At this point, the mother nodded and said that yes, they have eaten here before. Many times, in fact.

Awkward Distraction Dance!

And that's all it takes to throw a monkey wrench in the barely-functioning machine that is the part of my brain that fuels social interactions. Whether warranted or not, I start to internally panic. [These are the rather odd things that go on in the mind of someone with social anxiety!] 

I mumble something about it being great that they come here often, and then say that it was nice to meet them and awkwardly shuffle about to grab the kiddo and sprint to the safe haven that is my car...but of course, not before over-excitedly telling them that I was glad to meet them...at least three more times. Soooo much facepalm. 

Oh well. All that really matters is that the kiddo and I had a good time, we had good food that served towards a good cause, and now I know that my little one is making friends at his new school [which makes me one incredibly relieved and proud mama!].

Elsewhere in Gotham City...

My new computer was just delivered! Look forward to computer hi-jinx in upcoming posts!